Introverts in Toastmasters by Setma Maddox, DTM

Introverts in Toastmasters 

By Setma Maddox, DTM

We often associate Toastmasters with people who are out-going, who are able to stand up in front of lots of people and express themselves clearly, concisely, and with enthusiasm.  At least those are the people we see giving keynote speeches at various events. Were they always like that or did they learn to be that way? 

I believe some of them learn to be that way as evidenced by the transformation I see in new club members as they progress through the Competent Communicator and Competent Leadership Manuals.  Giving their Ice Breaker speech, I watch most of them stammer, shake, and sometimes even perspire during that four (4) minute presentation.   They are afraid of being judged or that they will fail or worse – fall flat on their face!  At least, that’s how I felt. It reminds me of a young plant tenaciously pushing its way to the surface.   However, with each subsequent speech, I watch them grow and eventually blossom.

During my observations I noticed that some of our members and I share some similar personality traits.

•  We enter club meetings or a new situation and carefully watch
    what is going on before jumping into the fray. 

•  We are hesitant to take on roles that will place attention on us. 

•  We tend to take a step back from anyone that seems too 
    aggressive when talking to us.
•  We tend to hesitate (think) before we answer a question.

These observations prompted three questions:  (1) What is it about our personalities that causes us to appear cautious, shy, reluctant or aloof?  (2)  What strengths do these members have that is evident in their personalities?  (3) How do you mentor someone who seems to hesitate with each suggestion you make?  So I began my search for answers in the area of leadership and team building since aspects of those topics are closely associated with mentoring. 

 
That’s when I began reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain.  Ms. Cain is a lawyer, a consultant, an author, and an introvert.  According to her, approximately 1/3 to ½ of Americans are introverts. That means one out of every two or three people you know is an introvert.  Thus it is highly probable that you sit next to an introvert at very club, area, district, and international function you attend.  If this is true, then other questions need to be answered:

•  What are the characteristics of an introvert? 
•  Are there tests to determine these characteristics?
•  What do the characteristics mean?
(See how research goes -- one thing leads to another!)   I found I needed to answer this last set of questions before I could answer the first set.

Yes, psychologists have developed several tests to determine a person’s basic personality type.  The most popular test is the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).   By answering a number of questions, the results will indicate whether you lean toward being an extrovert or an introvert; whether you need to examine the details of a plan or quickly see the big picture; whether you react based on feelings or objective analysis; and whether you plan ahead or you are spontaneous.   Basically, it’s how you perceive your world. The results are coded by using a letter for each of the four (4) categories: 

Extroversion/Introversion (E/I), Sensing/Intuition (S/N), Thinking/Feeling (T/F), Judgment/Perception (J/P).  Your score in each category determines your letter for that category. I took the assessment and my results are INTJ. 

I (Introvert) = I am often considered by some to be reserved, quite, and hard to know.  I have been called cold and aloof.  I don’t readily share my feelings.  I prefer to put my ideas in writing vs. talking them out.  I have few close friends and tend to reflect on ideas. I am energized by in-depth conversations and look inward for answers. 
An Extrovert (E), on the other hand, tends to be outgoing, talkative, and easy to approach.  They are often referred to as warm and inviting.  They readily share their thoughts and feelings without much prompting and have lots of friends. They are energized by interacting with large groups.           
N (Intuition) = I see patterns or trends quickly in both society and relationships.  I see the big picture and how the parts fit together very quickly.  I leap over steps and come to conclusions that may take others more time to develop. I am stimulated by new ideas and challenges. I wonder why others can’t immediately see the benefits or pitfalls of a project or idea as quickly as I can!  I enjoy variety.   Repetitive tasks BORE me to tears.  Once I learn a task or solve a problem, it’s time to move to the next challenge.        
A Sensor (S) lives in the present. Takes a step at a time and needs time to see the overall picture.  They love the familiar and use tried and true methods to approach a situation. Repetition works for them.  They can also be “just give me the facts lady, I don’t need the whole story” people. 
T (Thinker) =I am analytical and make my decisions based on objectivity rather than feelings.  I have a vivid imagination and enjoy new ideas.  I think long-term vs. short-term. I tend to reflect on all the possibilities and not move quickly enough to take advantage of an opportunity. 
A Feeler (F) is spontaneous. They react quickly to any given situation making decisions based on their feelings and their personal convictions.  They take an immediate and very personal view of situations and relationships. They are very caring individuals with strong values.  They think short-term vs. long-term. 
J (Judgment) = I am a planner who enjoys clear limits (there is an end at some point). I am decisive and organized. Clutter or a house full of knick knacks makes me nervous. For the most part I adhere to my core values and principles and expect others to do the same.  
A Perceiver (P) loves freedom to explore without limits.  They tend to procrastinate and meet deadlines at the last minute. They are flexible and “go with the flow” people.

So now that the second set of questions have been generally answered, I can consider the answers to the first set of questions. 

(1) What is it about our personalities that causes us to appear cautious, shy, reluctant or aloof?  It appears that I and some of my club mates may be considered introverts.  We tend to carefully consider a situation or idea or an individual and weigh it or him/her against our core values and our perception of the world.  We want to be sure that whomever we choose to interact with will fit into our world as we perceive it. If you don’t get included, please don’t take it personal.  Introverts appear to sometimes live in another dimension of time and space. Approach us, drop an idea on us and walk away.  If we are intrigued, we will think about it for awhile and if we have questions or want more information, we will find you.

(2)  What strengths do these members have that is evident in their personalities?  Introverts hold a wealth of information that can be readily accessed if needed.  We tend to glean information from conversations, reading, and general observations; then we file it away for future consideration or use. We may not be able to tell you where we obtained that information but it is solid regardless.  If you need someone to come up with a new way to do something, ask an introvert.  If you need someone to find a way around or through a specific problem – ask an introvert to come up with a solution.  Just be sure to not rush the process.  After all, we will want to write it out and revise it a number of times before submitting it for your consideration.

(3) How do you mentor someone who seems to hesitate with each suggestion you make?  With a great deal of patience and belief we will eventually respond.  That response may be in the form of questions or a counter idea.  DON’T push.  Pushing us builds a wall between us.  Accept us where we are and we will tenaciously begin to grow.  Once we choose a path, we will blossom.  Finding that path, however, may take time.

I have watched very reserved individuals bloom into energetic and profound speakers as members of Toastmasters.  These individuals still carefully watch what is going on before jumping into the fray but now they have learned how to hold their own against “a world that can’t stop talking” as Ms. Cain noted.  Therefore, I think that many keynote speakers we are so privileged to hear, began as shy, quite, aloof introverts. They choose their path. They had mentors who understood and worked with the introvert's personality traits to guide them through their Toastmasters journey.  I believe they have deep conversations with their chosen few.  They put their ideas in writing and then they forge ahead. 

            

So if you happen to be an introvert, come join us.  There are more us in Toastmasters than you think.  After all, the next time you sit down beside someone, you may just be sitting next to an introvert OR they may be!