One Bad Apple by Setma Maddox, DTM

   We may consider only the top person of an organization to be the leader that everyone follows.  This is not true.  Everyone in an organization serves in a leadership role whether or not we hold a title. 

   Recently I was engaged in a conversation concerning the impact that negative words and deeds have on an organization.  It seemed that an individual became angry when she was not asked to present a report at a particular meeting.  She began telling everyone who would listen how poorly she was treated.  After determining that her attitude was not a one-time occurrence but an on-going trend, I asked other employees what affect her attitude had on them.  It was summed up by a fellow employee:

“I used to love to come to work.  I thought we had a strong team and our bosses were doing a great job. Now all I see are the negative aspects of the job I do, and the incompetence of our leaders.  The only thing that has changed is the fact I have listened to her complaining so much, I am beginning to complain too. I feel unhappy with my work and with my fellow employees.  In fact, I feel physically ill most of the time while I’m at work."

   The old adage “one bad apple spoils the whole barrel” holds a great deal of truth. Some complaining is normal. However, an excessive amount of it can be debilitating not only to the person complaining but to the organization as a whole.  Production goes down.  Customer Service lags and ultimately the public will not associate with the organization. Over the past 3 years, I have watched several companies sell out because “they just wanted out.”  However, competing companies realized it was because there was so much tension in the organization that customers stopped buying from them. 

   My own company experienced something similar several years ago. We were vending at one of the largest conventions in the industry.  We had two “prima donna” designers in the booth.  One of them kept making snide remarks about the other one.  I finally took her out of the booth and told her not to return.  Our income at that show was extremely low compared to previous years. Recently, a fellow vendor and I were talking about the situation and she recalled, “All the vendors on the floor knew that you were having problems at that show. Our booth was 100 yards on the opposite side of the building and we could feel the tension.”  It was no wonder customers avoided us like the plague!

   Similar situations exist in clubs.  When you have a member who expresses his/her self in negative terms, it can affect how the club members and elected leaders respond and work together.  Negative words and deeds undermine the purpose of a club and result in a hostile environment.  When prospective members visit the club, they pick up on the tension and negativity.  No one wants to be involved where such dynamics exist.  Clubs with negative “vibes” do not retain members.  Therefore they are at risk of dying out unless something is done to correct the problem. 

   Are you a “bad apple” contributing to a negative environment?  As a leader, whether formal leader or one without a title, and you are leading others through negativity.  No one wants to wallow in that rotten barrel for an extended period.  Continuing to do so has consequences.  Your fellow employees or club members will start to avoid you; therefore, escalating your “bad apple attitude.”  Your own health is at jeopardy.  Studies have proven that people with negative attitudes have more health problems with their heart and immune system than people with positive attitudes¹.  Companies, and clubs, do not have to tolerate such behaviors.  They are destructive to the organization.  If you work for a company, they can fire you.  If you are a member of a club, the membership can ask you to leave. 

   If you are a “bad apple”, consider the affect negativity is having on you, personally, and everyone around you.  Then follow the fashion and make-up industry guru’s philosophy of “accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.”  Not everything is negative, so seek out the positives in your life, your job, your bosses, and, if you’re a club member, in your fellow members and the club’s formal leaders.  Your popularity and mental and physical health may improve.  You may find that focusing on the positive may even get you a promotion and/or a raise.

Introverts in Toastmasters by Setma Maddox, DTM

Introverts in Toastmasters 

By Setma Maddox, DTM

We often associate Toastmasters with people who are out-going, who are able to stand up in front of lots of people and express themselves clearly, concisely, and with enthusiasm.  At least those are the people we see giving keynote speeches at various events. Were they always like that or did they learn to be that way? 

I believe some of them learn to be that way as evidenced by the transformation I see in new club members as they progress through the Competent Communicator and Competent Leadership Manuals.  Giving their Ice Breaker speech, I watch most of them stammer, shake, and sometimes even perspire during that four (4) minute presentation.   They are afraid of being judged or that they will fail or worse – fall flat on their face!  At least, that’s how I felt. It reminds me of a young plant tenaciously pushing its way to the surface.   However, with each subsequent speech, I watch them grow and eventually blossom.

During my observations I noticed that some of our members and I share some similar personality traits.

•  We enter club meetings or a new situation and carefully watch
    what is going on before jumping into the fray. 

•  We are hesitant to take on roles that will place attention on us. 

•  We tend to take a step back from anyone that seems too 
    aggressive when talking to us.
•  We tend to hesitate (think) before we answer a question.

These observations prompted three questions:  (1) What is it about our personalities that causes us to appear cautious, shy, reluctant or aloof?  (2)  What strengths do these members have that is evident in their personalities?  (3) How do you mentor someone who seems to hesitate with each suggestion you make?  So I began my search for answers in the area of leadership and team building since aspects of those topics are closely associated with mentoring. 

 
That’s when I began reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain.  Ms. Cain is a lawyer, a consultant, an author, and an introvert.  According to her, approximately 1/3 to ½ of Americans are introverts. That means one out of every two or three people you know is an introvert.  Thus it is highly probable that you sit next to an introvert at very club, area, district, and international function you attend.  If this is true, then other questions need to be answered:

•  What are the characteristics of an introvert? 
•  Are there tests to determine these characteristics?
•  What do the characteristics mean?
(See how research goes -- one thing leads to another!)   I found I needed to answer this last set of questions before I could answer the first set.

Yes, psychologists have developed several tests to determine a person’s basic personality type.  The most popular test is the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).   By answering a number of questions, the results will indicate whether you lean toward being an extrovert or an introvert; whether you need to examine the details of a plan or quickly see the big picture; whether you react based on feelings or objective analysis; and whether you plan ahead or you are spontaneous.   Basically, it’s how you perceive your world. The results are coded by using a letter for each of the four (4) categories: 

Extroversion/Introversion (E/I), Sensing/Intuition (S/N), Thinking/Feeling (T/F), Judgment/Perception (J/P).  Your score in each category determines your letter for that category. I took the assessment and my results are INTJ. 

I (Introvert) = I am often considered by some to be reserved, quite, and hard to know.  I have been called cold and aloof.  I don’t readily share my feelings.  I prefer to put my ideas in writing vs. talking them out.  I have few close friends and tend to reflect on ideas. I am energized by in-depth conversations and look inward for answers. 
An Extrovert (E), on the other hand, tends to be outgoing, talkative, and easy to approach.  They are often referred to as warm and inviting.  They readily share their thoughts and feelings without much prompting and have lots of friends. They are energized by interacting with large groups.           
N (Intuition) = I see patterns or trends quickly in both society and relationships.  I see the big picture and how the parts fit together very quickly.  I leap over steps and come to conclusions that may take others more time to develop. I am stimulated by new ideas and challenges. I wonder why others can’t immediately see the benefits or pitfalls of a project or idea as quickly as I can!  I enjoy variety.   Repetitive tasks BORE me to tears.  Once I learn a task or solve a problem, it’s time to move to the next challenge.        
A Sensor (S) lives in the present. Takes a step at a time and needs time to see the overall picture.  They love the familiar and use tried and true methods to approach a situation. Repetition works for them.  They can also be “just give me the facts lady, I don’t need the whole story” people. 
T (Thinker) =I am analytical and make my decisions based on objectivity rather than feelings.  I have a vivid imagination and enjoy new ideas.  I think long-term vs. short-term. I tend to reflect on all the possibilities and not move quickly enough to take advantage of an opportunity. 
A Feeler (F) is spontaneous. They react quickly to any given situation making decisions based on their feelings and their personal convictions.  They take an immediate and very personal view of situations and relationships. They are very caring individuals with strong values.  They think short-term vs. long-term. 
J (Judgment) = I am a planner who enjoys clear limits (there is an end at some point). I am decisive and organized. Clutter or a house full of knick knacks makes me nervous. For the most part I adhere to my core values and principles and expect others to do the same.  
A Perceiver (P) loves freedom to explore without limits.  They tend to procrastinate and meet deadlines at the last minute. They are flexible and “go with the flow” people.

So now that the second set of questions have been generally answered, I can consider the answers to the first set of questions. 

(1) What is it about our personalities that causes us to appear cautious, shy, reluctant or aloof?  It appears that I and some of my club mates may be considered introverts.  We tend to carefully consider a situation or idea or an individual and weigh it or him/her against our core values and our perception of the world.  We want to be sure that whomever we choose to interact with will fit into our world as we perceive it. If you don’t get included, please don’t take it personal.  Introverts appear to sometimes live in another dimension of time and space. Approach us, drop an idea on us and walk away.  If we are intrigued, we will think about it for awhile and if we have questions or want more information, we will find you.

(2)  What strengths do these members have that is evident in their personalities?  Introverts hold a wealth of information that can be readily accessed if needed.  We tend to glean information from conversations, reading, and general observations; then we file it away for future consideration or use. We may not be able to tell you where we obtained that information but it is solid regardless.  If you need someone to come up with a new way to do something, ask an introvert.  If you need someone to find a way around or through a specific problem – ask an introvert to come up with a solution.  Just be sure to not rush the process.  After all, we will want to write it out and revise it a number of times before submitting it for your consideration.

(3) How do you mentor someone who seems to hesitate with each suggestion you make?  With a great deal of patience and belief we will eventually respond.  That response may be in the form of questions or a counter idea.  DON’T push.  Pushing us builds a wall between us.  Accept us where we are and we will tenaciously begin to grow.  Once we choose a path, we will blossom.  Finding that path, however, may take time.

I have watched very reserved individuals bloom into energetic and profound speakers as members of Toastmasters.  These individuals still carefully watch what is going on before jumping into the fray but now they have learned how to hold their own against “a world that can’t stop talking” as Ms. Cain noted.  Therefore, I think that many keynote speakers we are so privileged to hear, began as shy, quite, aloof introverts. They choose their path. They had mentors who understood and worked with the introvert's personality traits to guide them through their Toastmasters journey.  I believe they have deep conversations with their chosen few.  They put their ideas in writing and then they forge ahead. 

            

So if you happen to be an introvert, come join us.  There are more us in Toastmasters than you think.  After all, the next time you sit down beside someone, you may just be sitting next to an introvert OR they may be!